moriartty: i would never cheat on someone i mean someone being stupid enough to date me is a once in a lifetime thing im not gonna mess it up
When writing a long essay in school:
laugh-addict: Your handwriting in the introduction Your handwriting in the last paragraph
the-vashta-nerada: one time in my english class the teacher gave us a written assignment to basically explain how the book we were reading ended and this one kid just wrote “with a period” and he got full credit
weiss-schnee: irritate: i just remembered that in middle school there was a kid named “Ugonna” in my lunch and everytime he bought pizza i was like “ugonna eat that?????” and i guess i was kinda harassing him so he told the principal and the principal made me buy him a pizza for harassment and the next day i was like “ugonna pay me back?” and thats the story of how i almost got stabbed with a...
whereischarleslee: witchdumpling: turtles arent slow HOL Y SHIT THAT THING IS LIKE SONIC
unlimited-red-sweaters: Eyy girl, are you my ball-point pen because you are
person: you're blocking the view.
me: i am the view.
My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard...
Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
Brother: that's not fair
Mom: DO AS I SAY.
Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.
The weirdest thing to come out of this post is the amount of people who started following me based off of my first name.
i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me
mollywhoaftw: crowleys-angel: crayolaxmonster: tayvengeance: 4rcticmonkey: Sometimes i talk in song lyrics and my friends don’t even notice sometimes I talk in Mean Girls quotes and no one notices Sometimes I talk and nobody notices At first it was funny but then it got kind of sad Just like my social life
How the sky would look if the planets were as...
owls-in-the-tardis: quiescense: guceubcuesu: Moon… Mercury… Venus… Mars… Jupiter… Saturn… Uranus… Neptune… Pluto can suck a dick This is so interesting. Jupiter and Saturn look fucking scary I love this because like the moon, mercury, venus and mars are like far away and small and stuff and then like all the sudden there’s jupiter and saturn
biptch: an erotic poem: leg so hot hot hot leg leg so hot u fry an eg
drmew: pecul1ar: anonymous-deactivated: why doesn’t someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it’s toasting I swear, if tumblr wasn’t full of lazy people, then the world would be a better place
tacolol: why is “suck my dick” considered an insult like sure man i’ll suck your dick what are friends for
koishy: please dont sit right next to me while im on the computer that is just not happening
sassy-pineapple: mom I cant go to school ive got the ugly
damnhowell: so this girl at my school was mad at me so on facebook she sent me instead of correcting her spelling, i just took her profile picture and made this and sent it to her she doesn’t get it